


Falling- Harry Styles Angst

by DeputyDeputyChiefofStaff (orphan_account)



Category: Falling - Harry Styles (Song), Fine Line - Harry Styles (Album)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, For a Friend, Harry Styles - Freeform, Harry Styles Angst, Harry Styles Falling Angst, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Loss, My first RPF, RPF, Rain, Singing, and like closure within himself, based off of falling, based off of falling acapella, basically this is about harry, because it does imply suicide, buckle in folks, but my friend is, falling, having to process the death of his girfriend, im not a hs fan, its angsty, kind of, more like harry finds peace, please take caution, so i hope this is okay, this is angsty folks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-01
Updated: 2020-10-01
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:00:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26758402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/DeputyDeputyChiefofStaff
Summary: Harry Styles' girlfriend recently committed suicide. Harry deals with the guilt and pain the only way he knows how. He sings.-Based off of the isolated vocals for FallingTRIGGER WARNING FOR IMPLIED/REFERENCED SUICIDE
Kudos: 3





	Falling- Harry Styles Angst

**Author's Note:**

> TW for implied/referenced suicide.  
> I hope you all enjoy this story!  
> So my friend really likes Harry Styles and she was playing me the isolated vocals from Falling by Harry Styles. I said 'oh, I'm getting this image of Harry singing this in an empty stadium and it's raining and he's sad about his girlfriend.' She loved the idea, and asked me to write her a story. So I did. As stated in the tags, a) this story references Harry's girlfriend's suicide so please be careful, and please do not think I was being insensitive. It is truly tragic what happened, and this story is not meant at all to lessen how horrible that was. And b) I'm not a fan, so I hope this story is okay. I just wrote what I would have written for any other angsty work in a fandom I was a part of. This is also my first RPF, so I'm not really sure what I was doing. Again, I hope you enjoy, and please stay safe everybody. You are are truly loved and important. I know it's scary, but please, reach out for help if you need it. Even if it doesn't seem like it, there are so many people out there who care about you and want to help you. You are not alone.

_ I’m in my bed _

_ And you’re not here _

He was laying in his hotel room bed, staring at the ceiling. Out of the corner of his eye he could see the flashing neon green, proclaiming that it was 12:00 AM. But it didn’t matter. Nothing did. Nothing but the show tomorrow, and the one after that, and the one after that, and the list of things that still mattered went on and on like that until it became too much. 

He threw off the covers and strode over to the closet, grabbing his rain jacket to protect him from the torrent outside. As he stepped out the front door of the hotel, giving a slight nod to the doorman out of habit, he looked left and right, trying to decide which way to go. Following what his gut told him to do, he started left, choosing getting lost in his thoughts over paying attention to the world around him. Never mind that not paying attention is what caused this to happen. 

_ And there's no one to blame but the drink and my wandering hands _

If he had just- he should have seen, if he had-  _ goddamn it  _ he should have noticed something was wrong. If he had just been paying attention, maybe she would still be here. But he had noticed, hadn’t he? He had noticed and-

_ Forget what I said _

_ It’s not what I meant  _

He had told her to just sleep it off. That everybody had bad days, that she would be just fine after a walk and a hug. He laughed bitterly to himself. ‘ _ If only it was that simple- maybe she would be here. If I had just told her- _ ’ If he had asked her if she was okay, instead of assuming she was; if he had asked her if she needed something, instead of telling her what she did.  _ If, if, if _ . If he had a time machine, he would go back and do every goddamned  _ if  _ that had come through his head since he found her. He would take everything back.  _ If _ . 

_ And I can’t take it back _

_ I can’t unpack the baggage you left _

But time machines weren’t real, as much as he wished they were. He couldn’t hug her,  _ really  _ hug her and tell her just how much she meant to him. How much she meant to so many people. How loved she was. No. She was gone, replaced with unshakable guilt so heavy that it had brought Harry Styles to the empty arena where he would be performing tomorrow, wishing he could talk to her. 

_ What am I now? _

Harry took a deep breath and used his key to unlock the padlock on the gate. 

_ What am I now? _

He walked in and up onto the platform. 

_ What if I’m someone I don’t want around? _

All his guilt, all of the disgust he felt towards himself, all of his pain- he felt it well up inside him, so harsh that he just wanted to crawl out of the skin of the person he didn’t want to be anymore. He needed to get out. And, as far as he could see- there was only one way. Clearing the tears he hadn’t realized he was crying out of his throat, Harry turned his face up to the sky and opened his mouth, beginning to sing:

_ I’m falling again _

_ I’m falling again _

His voice wavered at first, but it grew stronger as all the pain flowed out into the words, finally releasing him from the tight grip of his guilt. He felt a small, sad smile flicker across his face as he stared up at the stars. 

_ I’m falling. _

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Again, this was not meant to be insensitive at all. I hope you enjoyed this story.  
> You are all very loved.


End file.
